Cat Charging

When most people leave cats unattended their only worries are water and food. If it's an outdoor cat it'll take off on it's own business (that they're simply happier not knowing), if it's indoor it'll investigate every corner for the four thousandth time in between demonstrating where the word "catnap" comes from. We aren't most people. Every time Neutrino's unattended, this is what's happening:

He's charging up, and woe betide the careless couple who arrives home tired to a fully energized Neutrino (that phrase might sound like hardcore particle physics, but subatomic fermions rarely have so many teeth and claws). The risk of an outright cat-splosion if he's left to power up too long is averted by his unique "discharge mechanism", where he "runs around the room" and "tears the absolute shit out of every single item he can." His victims so far include rolls of tissue paper/confetti (that's before/after), clothing, a full wicker basket, much of X's self-beautification gear, and on one occasion one of the wooden supports of the bed.

Trying to sleep with an unleashed energized Neutrino in the room? If I ever manage it, I'm going to call up that little crippled girl who climbed Everest without oxygen and say "You had it damn easy!" He's a hyperkinetic pinball, except an utterly random metal sphere bouncing around the bedroom would be better - by random chance alone it wouldn't hit us so often. You know how "stomach" and "trampoline" don't sound anything alike? Neutrino took the precaution of not knowing English, allowing him to make this mistake up to three times a minute. It also seems that I'm quite tasty - alas, not in the seventies female teen sense of sexually attractive, but the actual literal "it is pleasant to try to eat."

This results in Neutrino being sent to Ze Box: his travel carry cage. It's comfortable, it's roomy, and most importantly utterly escape-proof (unless I'm so incoherently tired I fail to close it, which has happened). Technically we're still using it for travel since we're making the very important trip to "Not dying of sleep deprivation and bite marks." As a pet owner it's important to make everything an enjoyable experience instead of a chore (otherwise you end up resenting the animal), so venever dissiplene ist rekvired, Ein adotp zee tones uff a Vorld Var movie prizon gard! Ve shall see how you feel after time in Ze Box, ya?

(Note: if Neutrino ever does learn enough English to tell stomach from trampoline, his second question will be "What's a Schweinehund Tommy?")

It's just a good thing we had him neutered. If we hadn't, by now the US Military and Al Queda would be putting aside their differences to end his unstoppable rampage through the northern hemisphere.