Sunday, August 15, 2010

The Neutrino Fly Trap

Here's Neutrino begging for attention:


And here's what I see:


He's the world's first fly trap with a fur coat, and by "fly" I of course mean "Me." Not because I'm egotistical (though I am), or because it's more exciting (though it is), but because I've been targeted for destruction by my own pet. He'll stretch and roll and emit logical impossibilities - yowls laden with the frequencies of crying babies but don't make you want to throw him out an open window (especially on airplanes) - flexing a big fluffy belly and demanding more immediate attention than a burning nuclear reactor.

And when he gets it...

THE BEARTRAP CLOSES!

NEUTRINO STRIKES!

Remember: this is me trying to stroke him in exactly the manner he's been begging for. Any attempt to pet, placate or otherwise pacify (and I don't mean "pacify" in the riot police sense, though if these keeps up I might) the cat results in attempted me-eatery.


Note how he backflips to intercept my fingers when I try to get behind him - I could be fighting Jet Li and not get attacked this much. I've actually evolved puncture-proof skin over the last few months - either that or I've worn his teeth down with my cunning strategy of "polish them with my own flesh."

Which is why I've started looking at these.


Ideal for knights, industrial saw operators, and people trying to stroke Neutrino .

No comments:

Post a Comment