DIY Neutrino!

It's been pointed out that Neutrino is, indeed, the cutest cat. Even by people who aren't us. Viewers around the world tell my wife that our cat is best. Friends who got kittens found themselves calling their own kittens Neutrino, even when those kittens were the center of their entire universe and had an eight-month-younger "Still a kitten" adorability advantage. One couple we met in the street while walking Neutrino confessed that our cat was better than theirs, and any cat-owning couple will tell you that's on par with donating two kidneys. Each.

So in order to make the world a better place, here's how to build a Neutrino of your very own!

A - Dog's head: This might seem an odd place to start when building a cat, but trust us, for the truly psychotic-looking "panting with his mouth open" and "running around like a lunatic" elements you'll be much better off with the dog. Especially the panting thing: unlike a cat's "narrow with fangs" red-slash-in-furry-face, a dog's mouth doesn't look like a miniature insane vampire who's just run up ten flights of stairs to sink his teeth into your throat*.

*Warning: if you actually own a cat you'll start finding this cute anyway. This is normal. A cat owner considers it cute when their pet randomly stabs guests, another fact we can confirm because of Neutrino.

B - Tiger skin: May be tricky to get hold of but essential for the endlessly fascinating pattern. You may think "Why bother building a Neutrino when I have access to a Tiger?" You will later think "Oh, so THIS is what it's like to be viciously eaten!" Neutrino owners, on the other hand, are eaten slowly enough to regenerate and can lead otherwise healthy lives.

C - White shirt collar: Essential to add dignity and class, qualities often lacking in dog-tiger-hybrid abominations.

D - Slinky Spring Spine: Enables the Neutrino to extend from standard length (two feet) to "Look at me rub me feed me submit your wills to me and my cuteness" super-long length (approximately four miles).

E - Chainsaw: Should be a fairly large petrol-powered model to achieve Neutrino's purring volume and destructive ability.

F - Leopard skin: After the tiger skin this one is easy.

G - Wolverine claws: The only being known to slash things nearly as often as Neutrino. (Error in photo: Wolverine should change his costume to include little white gloves, so my wife can go "Awwww isn't he so cuuuuute" even as he's ripping the veins out of my arms.)

H - Kangaroo legs: Important addition! If you forget the powerful hind legs of Australia's most famous marsupial, you might accidentally leave vital or breakable items out of Neutrino's reach!

I - Tail replacement: It's difficult to render "powerful communications device which could really be saying anything, but saying it powerfully!" in visual form. Possible replacements include "a drunken Sean Connery reading Rongorongo", "An enigma coding machine connected to a megaphone", or even "random dots and dashes blown through a hollowed unicorn horn", but even if you could afford any of those you can't have the one perfect example. Because Neutrino's using it.